Living through cotton

November 18, 2017

That's how I describe my life before I figured out Purpose. 


I don't mean everything was soft and cozy.  


I mean I didn't quite connect to anything.  ANYthing. 


The strangest thing about that is I didn't know any better at the time. I would have told anyone and everyone who asked that I was fully connecting with my life. (Side note - nobody asked.) 


I had relationships.  I had experiences.  I had kids.  I loved deeply.  I laughed fully.  I cried...I raged...I learned.  I screwed up many times.  I tasted victory more times.  I had wild affairs.  I had deep regrets.  I grieved the loss of friends and lovers.  I celebrated having those who I came to know later. I found my way through life and felt successful in many ways. 


I was in my 40s.  I'd lived a while.  


I didn't notice the disconnect until after I started living my life on Purpose.  My Before Purpose Perspective (BPP) is HUGELY different than my After Purpose Perspective (APP).  


I didn't start huge.  Using the guidance of a coach, I started by practicing presence and gratitude.  I sucked at it.  I sucked A LOT.  


I kept going though.  I began to fully believe to get to Purpose, you have to spend quite a bit of energy using purpose.  Little p gets you to Big P.  


I set my Little p intentions and I had really tiny successes. 


Like I didn't lose my mind during bedtime routine with my youngest.  Or when I was assembling a floor lamp and it was INSANELY frustrating, I took a few breaths and thought "Well, at least I have a damn lamp."  


I said really tiny successes. But I noticed them.  I began to believe I could do it.  So I kept setting Little p intentions.  


For a while, I was overwhelmed by the feelings of connecting.  It felt like everything was too loud....too close....too bright.  Too much.


Once I adjusted the brightness...the intensity...the heightened everything, I knew I would never go back. 


I still know that.  I also know that if you wanted any advice at all, I would say do whatever it takes to get to your own life on Purpose. 


You'll never go back.  






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